#I rarely give personal project updates but I'm proud of these lol

[keihan]

I can post these now that Christmas has passed and it's been received-- I crocheted a big cousin Beyond for my little brother @ringmaster-reds-circus this year!

We both love katamari, so it was fun to see if I could find a way to make this, especially since I'm still pretty new at crochet!

(I'm also happily keeping the little prototype myself 😆 he was made with just vibes and i love him)

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi!

Hope your week is going well. I have a weird question but how do you not mix business with pleasure?

I have a slight liking towards this man on campus who does film and videos and it’s been successful. And it’s something I’ve been wanting to learn for my career as well. Last time I spoke to him it was passing by, and I’ve spoken to him here and there (once again- in passing) before. (We’d both be nervous when talking lol to one another)

I mistakenly told him I’ve been looking for him (since he no longer lives in the dorm building we met at) and he said he’s off campus, then I also said we need to talk, and he should follow me on IG and I shouted my handle, he said ok as he left.

It was silly, I’m sure I scared him away and I was embarrassed by my choice of words. He never followed me or dm’d me and I am too proud to even reach out. I would like to network and ask for advice but not sure if it’s appropriate.

I’ve gotten into these situations where I accidentally mix business with pleasure when I meet men who have these qualities that would help me in the long run, then they ghost me after the said project is done, and I felt like there would be potential to chat and be friends and maybe something can form that’s causal. Maybe I’m going about this all wrong.

I’d love some advice regarding that.

Thanks so much ! 🪽

Hi love! I totally get how this issue can get sticky. I've been in the opposite position before – when some potential clients have gotten a little too flirty (rare and it's been a while since this happened, but alas). Anyways, it seems like you're both legal adults, in the same age bracket (or relatively close in age), and there's no power dynamic at play (like a boss or a professor), so labeling anything as black and white at this stage is just going to give you more anxiety and make you overthink this situation past the facts at hand.

To ensure your relationship remains professional, always ensure you're reaching out with a clear reason, ask, and intention. If you choose to meet in person for a chat-up, ensure it's in a public place – preferably during the day with no alcohol involved (coffee is perfect – anyone who assumes that a professional coffee chat is a date automatically is quite presumptuous in my book, regardless of the ages or genders of the people involved). An example of this type of outreach would be "hey! I've been working on X project and know that you specialize in X industry, industry solutions, demographic, product development, methodology, etc., I'm wondering if you would be open to looking over these notes/paper/project/assignment and share your thoughts or chat about X industry question over coffee? I appreciate your expertise in X field." It can be more casual than this, but you get the idea.

In terms of staying in touch with professional contacts who happen to be men, take a similar approach as you would with maintaining a professional connection with anyone else who is not of your desired gender. Send them articles, links to studies, etc. surrounding your common professional interests every once in a while if they make you think of them, feel free to give them a short update on your professional/academic life and hobbies, etc., and, on occasion, if you want, reach out to see if they're open to a coffee chat to discuss one of the current projects you're working on, a new job, switching majors, etc.

Just treat them like a professional friend. Don't be nervous around them like a crush if you want to maintain a professional connection with them. While, sometimes, professional connections can lead to forming healthy, long-lasting relationships, cross that bridge when you come to it. You will know if the interest is mutual or not after a couple of interactions. Be smart about it, but don't overthink it.

Hope this helps xx